oh fuck it's friday

Sunday, October 08, 2006

6th October

I was at the Zetter Hotel in Clerkenwell to watch Adam Buxton perform some stand-up. It was very funny, and me and my three friends drank beer and five bottles of wine. We laughed a lot, and noticed that in the restaurant of the Hotel, if you look up, you will see what looks like a gigantic fallopian tube.
Anyway, there was a waitress there who was beautiful and smiled deliciously. I asked a camp waiter whether she was single, and he replied by pushing a bottle of wine on to my friend Miriam's lap, and rhetorically asking whether I thought a girl as attractive as 'beautiful waitress' would ever be single?. Anyway, she's going to South America with her boyfriend next week.
But I thought I should just ask her out anyway. Now, this is something I have never done. Never, completely cold (despite having had a few glasses of wine), have I walked up and asked somebody out. So I thought that it would qualify as ohfuckitsfriday material.
She came over to our table with another bottle of red wine for our table, and when she walked away, I jumped up -
'Excuse me'.
'I actually just asked the waiter whether you were single, and he said that you most certainly were not, but I reckoned that he might be obsessed by you, so I thought I'd asked you myself. And anyway, he's gay isn't he?'
'He's straight'.
A moment of embarassment, but, as I am beginning to learn, if you allow your thoughts to swirl, to snowball, they will make you rigid and nervous. So I let them go.
'So, are you single? Cos I'd really like to ask you out.'
'I do have a boyfriend.'
'Oh, ok, cool.'
'But if I didn't, I would love to go on a date with you.'
Wow. She's maybe just saying that, but, golly, this whole asking someone out is not difficult.
'Oh, thank you. Anyway, those glasses really suit you.'
'Ha, thanks.'
'See you.'

It was over. And it had been a thrill, I realised. I've often thought too much of failure - 'what if she says no?'. But actually, it was fun. For a girl to be asked out is flattering. Even if she might not want to go out with you, she'll appreciate your directness. Perhaps because it's so refreshing in our society, where indecision and hesitation is quite common.

I'm certainly not free from that at all. But I am, slowly, beginning to see that 1.) failure is ok, and 2.) too much thinking can hinder action. This is a problem because our life IS action. If we think too much before acting, we'll end up stumbling. I remember this quote - no idea where the hell it came from, but it was something like - 'walk, run, skip or jump. But above all, don't stumble.'

But stumbling is ok, too.


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